Printer’s Devil (Intermission)

Contrary to a certain impression, no I am not dead. Serious…

Kai! Which kain face can I use to look at you people again? Before you sharpen your pitchforks abeg, I MUST apologize for the extremely elongated absence on this particular blog. Trust me, it was the devil’s handwork. Poor devil. Ok, frankly the devil didn’t have much to do with it. Here’s why.

First of all, I admit I was deceased literature-wise but that’s not what I am talking about. I resigned from S.L.A.V.E. Inc waaaay back months ago and after imagining flinging my resignation letter in Mr. Heem’s face - with a certain glee I might add - I walked out of his office only for the economy to throw a Global Recession straight in my face the very next day. My guess? Mr. Heem is most likely the one sniggering now.

There’s nothing funny about being financially dead. Not at all. I mean, how can I write a funny story on a hungry tummy? In all honesty I haven’t had to actually go hungry (GOD be praised!) but you get the drift? I’m always worrying where my next buck is going to come from that that the idea of coming here to make y’all laugh by gisting of employment while I still remaining unemployed is…

In short, you get the drift.

In actual truth, I was shocked with the favourable responses on the last post so much so I have been scared typing, re-typing and scrapping the sequel several times because I was afraid it wasn’t as good as the prequel. Sincerely, I’m hoping lightening strikes twice this time…

If this was an award acceptance speech of sorts, I would at this point give a special shout-out to a group of six fine young women who go by the collective name, Dame Halos. When I thought no-one would recall the presence of this blog and I could safely nuke it into oblivion, you had to go and drop a comment abi? Thanks for giving me the abbreviated wake-up call.

Meanwhile I am still trudging the streets of Lagos. I relocated here because like Alali in Basi & Company, I hear the streets of Lagos are paved in gold. Alali never found them but I am not as unlucky or ill-equipped as he was. I have an old diary map of Lagos and as if that isn’t enough, NOKIA and Garmap are launching mobile maps for Nigeria. So you see, I will find them.

As you must have guessed by now, I am freestyling on this post, making it up as I go. Pardon the silence and the drivel. I am back. For those who expressed concern, thank you. For those still interested in finding out how I handled Aunty, your request will be answered in exactly I-don't-know-how-many days' time.

Now to go find those streets of gold I talked of a little earlier. I just have to look somewhere around Ozumba Mbadiwe, I think…